


The Flying Spaghetti Monster

by Idun_Winter



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 20:53:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4494354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idun_Winter/pseuds/Idun_Winter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki tries to cook.<br/>Spoiler: It doesn't go well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Flying Spaghetti Monster

He had no idea what exactly had gone wrong, but something obviously had.

Otherwise, their dinner wouldn't be black, and let's face facts: Pasta is not supposed to be black.

Siletly cursing, he contemplated his options.

She would be back in fifteen minutes. This meant he could either throw that pot of toxic waste out and call the pizza service, or try again-the sauce that was boiling in the second pot seemed edible, and the pasta itself would be ready in time, wouldn't it?

Knowing that he would probably regret this decision later, he pulled out another pot from the kitchen cabinet and placed it on the stove. 

He was a god, and he would not admit defeat! May Hel have him if he wasn't able to cook pasta!

 

Fiveteen minutes later

 

Appearantly, Hel could have him. He was totally unable to cook pasta.

Muttering curses, he checked on the sauce and compared it to the picture he found in the book that Kate kept in the kitchen cabinet. Apart from the fact that his sauce was brownish and the book's one was red, it seemed close enough.

The pasta, however, was beyond saving. It was, for some elusive reason, still hard, and there was no time for another try now, Kate would be home in-

He hears the key turning in the lock of the tiny apartment's front door. Kate. Coming back after a 36-hour-shift in the hospital. And he had promised to fix something dinner. 

The door opened, and the first thing he heard was her calling out his name, sounding very worried.

"Loki? Are you okay? For God's sake, what's this smell? Did you set something on fire?"

He heard her walking the two steps to the kitchen door, and then she opened it.

He gazed at her apologetically as she took in the whole scene: Four pots full of various attempts at cooking pasta, all stinking abdominally and definitely inedible, the aftermath of his struggle with a defiant tomato that wouldn't allow him to peel it, the sauce splattered across the wall where he had lost his patience and threw the spoon he had used to stir the brownish liquid, and in the middle of it all, he, a God in an apron that by now was stained with tomato sauce. Not to mention that he probably had sauce in his hair.

Her mouth fell open into a silent O. For a few seconds, she just looked at the whole scene.

Then, she started laughing.

The thing is: When Dr. Kate Winter starts laughing, there is no way not to join in. Even if you are a supreme being that can command armies of dark elves but is unable to cook spaghetti bolognese.

So, he did the most natural thing in the world: He laughed with her.

They laughed until they had tears in their eyes and were gasping for air.

Still chuckling, she closed the distance between them, put her arms around him and pressed a quick kiss to his mouth.

"Let me call the pizza service.", she said, grinning.

"Sorry for the mess.", Loki muttered into her chocolate-brown, curly hair.

She huffed and replied, a smile in her voice: "You could have just told me that you can't cook, you know?"

Burying his face even deeper in her hair, he answered silently: "I thought I would be able to cope and just learn it whilst doing it."

She chuckled. "Rule number one of cooking: If you think you will be able to cope, you are wrong. I learned that when I was six years old and tried to cook steak for my family. Let's just say: I threw it into boiling water."

"Wait-that's now how you make steak?"

Disentangling herself from him, she took a look at his face to check whether the surprise in his voice was genuine. When she saw that it was, she sighed.

Very seriously, she said: "Loki, promise me one thing. Never, I repeat, never, try to cook again."

Grinning, he raised a hand I'm a solemn gesture and vowed: "I, Loki Friggasson, hereby swear to you, my beloved Dr. Kate Winter, that I will never try to cook again."

 

Two weeks later

As Kate entered the apartment, she was greeted by an awful stench.

"Loki? You okay? Have you set something something on fire? Please tell me you didn't try cooking again-"

Loki walked around the corner in an apron splattered with something undefinable, looking quite sheepish.

"Baking.", he muttered apologetically. "It's not really cooking, is it? I tried chocolate cake, you know, since it's your birthday."

"Rate the destruction in the kitchen on a scale from one to ten."

"Off-scale. It looks like New Work after I was done with it."

Kate sighed and put her face in her hands. Then, she started laughing.

If you are living with Loki, or, even worse, in love with him AND living with him, at some point you realise that you have two options: To try to be serious (you will fail), or just laugh. Because Kate was Kate, she always chose to laugh, because, matter of factly, it was just too damn funny.

Another rule of living with Loki: Call. The. Goddamned. Pizza Service. Or, respectively, a bakery.

 


End file.
